


Into the Streets

by sixclawsdragon



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, good gentle bones, jim has a crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 13:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixclawsdragon/pseuds/sixclawsdragon
Summary: Jim worries that his feelings for Bones will ruin their frienship





	Into the Streets

Jim’s laying in bed after he gets home when the panic hits. He went out with Bones earlier, and he had a great time at the museum (and dinner after), and that’s what scares him. He really likes Bones. More than a friend should. And if Bones finds out, he won’t want to even be friends anymore.

Jim can’t lose Bones, he’s all he has.

He starts avoiding him almost subconsciously, afraid he’ll slip up and Bones will see how much he likes him. He comes back to their room late, goes to sleep early, or stays somewhere else entirely. It lasts about a week before Bones confronts him.

“Jim, you’re here.” He walks in while Jim is getting ready for bed one evening, earlier than planned.

“Uh, yeah.” He’s nervous, and he starts making his excuses. “I was just heading to bed.”

“I feel like I hardly see you anymore, kid. What’s going on?” Bones sets his stuff down and sits down on his bed, looking at Jim.

“I’ve just been busy.” He offers, knowing it’s a flimsy lie.

“Jim, are you...avoiding me? Did I do something?” Bones looks hurt, and Jim wants the ground to open up and swallow him.

“No, of course not!” He hurries to reassure him, deciding it’s probably better to get this over with so Bones can get a new roommate, one who isn’t...well, Jim. “I-I just…you don’t want to hang out with me.”

“Yes I do?” Bones is clearly confused. “Why would you think-”

“I’m-I like guys, Bones.” He stares at the wall, facing away from Bones as he says it, not wanting to see their friendship breaking apart behind him.

“Okay, and?” Jim sighs. He’s really going to have to say it. He turns around to look Bones in the eye, tears starting to prick at his own eyes.

“I like _you_.” His hands are balled into fists, and he fights the urge to grab a few things and run away right now.

“Oh.” Bones sounds surprised, and Jim looks away again.

“I’m sorry, I’ll leave, you can get a new roommate.” He grabs his backpack from next to his desk and turns toward the door.

“Hey, woah, woah. Why would you have to leave?” Bones holds up his hands and steps between Jim and the door.

“Because I’m dirty and wrong, you don’t want-”

“Will you quit telling me what you think I want and listen for a second, you idiot?” He’s moved closer when Jim looks up again, and he lays a hand on Jim’s shoulder. Jim’s full on crying now, and Bones looks blurry through his tears.

“What?” He sniffles pathetically and wipes his eyes on his sleeve.

“I’m not gonna kick you out for being gay-”

“Pan.” Jim interrupts, probably making the whole situation worse.

“Pan, then. Still not kicking you out.” He hands Jim a tissue. “Especially not for liking me.”

“But-I don’t understand.” Jim’s trying desperately to squash down the hope he feels, he’s probably misinterpreting this.

“I like you too, you damn fool. I thought you knew.”

“How would I have known?” Bones sighs heavily.

“Jim, I gave you a teddy bear with a sign that says ‘I love you bear-y much.’”

“You won it at the carnival, it’s not like you picked it out.”

“But I did.” Bones looks bewildered. “Did you think it was just a random prize?”

Jim nods, and Bones harrumphs.

“I can’t believe you would think my shooting is that bad. I knew what I wanted, and I got it.”

“Then-you _like_ me?” This is the last thing he expected. “Even though….” He trails off, none of this making sense anymore.

“Jim, look at me.” He does, and Bones looks him in the eye. “You know Nyota and Gaila are dating. Are they bad for that?”

“No, but-”

“I’m bi. Am I wrong?”

“Of course not, but-

“Then there’s nothing wrong with you.” Bones cuts him off again.

“But...Frank always said-” He clams up immediately, not wanting to talk about Frank.

“Jim, darlin’, I don’t care what Frank said. I’m not gonna pressure you into anything, but since we’ve established that you like me, and I like you, I’d like to take you out on a real date.”

“I-I’d like that.” He finally smiles, and sets his backpack back in its place.

“I’ll take care of everything. But for now, why don’t we both get some sleep?” He leans in and kisses Jim on the forehead, and Jim just about dies right then and there.

“Okay.”

~~~~~~~~

They start dating after that, and it’s everything Jim never let himself hope for. Bones is a perfect gentleman, and he’s always patient when Jim’s nervous in the beginning, pulling his hand away when someone looks at them, or side-eyeing everyone who passes like they’re going to jump him. He gets better as time goes by, less afraid, more confident. Bones lets him crawl into bed with him when it’s cold one night, and he never sleeps alone after that.

They argue sometimes, but what couple doesn’t? And Jim is so head over heels for Bones that he feels like telling the world. Except for a few important people he hasn’t come out to. His family doesn’t know anything about his life since he left after high school. Frank is an abusive bastard, but Jim still cares about his mother and Sam.

He’d have to go back to tell them, though. It’s not something he wants to do over a video call. But...Frank might be there. He makes up his mind to at least find out, so he can say that he tried. He texts Sam, who left even before he did, but keeps up with their mother better.

‘Is frank still living at house?’ He sends, and the dots that indicate Sam typing pop up.

‘Mom kicked him out. Guess he was bullying her since we weren’t around to pick on.’ Oh. Then maybe he could go back.

‘Where r u living?’ He types, and Sam tells him about his new home with his wife Aurelan, and their infant son.

‘Hey Sam’ He sends, typing another message before he can change his mind. ‘What would u say if i told u i’m pan’

Waiting for a reply is agonizing, but it finally comes.

‘I’d say i already knew that’

‘How??’ Jim hadn’t told him.

‘Bc I’m ur brother.’ He texts, followed by ‘& bc i walked in on u kissing gary once’

‘I told him i heard something’ He smiles, glad Sam is clearly alright with this. ‘I’m gonna tell mom tho’

‘Good luck’

~~~~~~~~

He wants so badly to ask Bones to come with him, but that wouldn’t be fair to him. This is something Jim has to do alone. He gets a ticket back to Riverside, and he worries the whole way there.

The house looks just like he remembers it, and he almost turns back, wanting to leave behind the memories it brings up. But he does his best to block them out, and knocks on the door.

Winona beams at him when she opens it.

“Jimmy! How have you been? I never hear from you. Come in, come in!” She ushers him inside and pushes a plate of cookies into his hands.

“Try those, I’ve been learning to bake since I’ve been back.” He’s escorted into the living room and onto the couch before he can object.

“Mom, I-uh...I came here to tell you something.”

“Did something happen? Are you okay?” She starts fussing almost immediately, and Jim has a hard time connecting her as she is now with the woman who was in space for most of his childhood. He knows her job in Starfleet has always been important to her, and he understands that a lot better now that he’s in the Academy himself, but it doesn’t mean he’s completely forgiven her.

“I’m fine, but...I’m seeing someone, and it’s serious, and I want you at my wedding one day, so I need to tell you…” He takes a deep breath, bracing himself. “I’m pansexual, and I’m dating a man.”

She’s hugging him before he realizes she’s moved.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Her words hit him like a punch to the gut.

“Why?” She pulls back and looks at him with teary eyes.

“Because you were so nervous about telling me. I know I haven’t been the best mother to you, but I will always love you, no matter who you date.” Jim nearly starts crying himself from relief.

“Mom, it’s okay. You’re here now, and we’re trying.”

She nods and sit back in her chair.

“Tell me all about him.”

“You remember my roommate?” She had met him once when she had video called Jim.

“That nice doctor boy? You have good taste, Jimmy.”

“Mom!” She just laughs.

‘My son, married to a doctor. I’m so proud.”

“Hey, we aren’t married yet. And you do know I’m gonna be a captain, right?” He finds himself laughing too.

“Of course, I’m sorry. My son, the captain, married to a doctor. Better?”

“Much.”

They still have a lot of issues, but right now they’re a mother and son interacting like normal families do. And if Jim cries when he calls Bones that night to tell him how it went, well, Bones won’t tell anyone.


End file.
